It’s been a year since quitting my corporate job, donating 95 % of my belongings, leaving GA and moving back to my hometown of Fayetteville, NC. 

This has been the most rewarding, painful, insightful and confusing year of my life.

 I have officially unplugged from the matrix after going through a spiritual awakening that just won’t fucking quit.

Until a year ago I had no idea what a spiritual awakening was. I was so plugged into the matrix that I had never heard of the term. What I have learned since the initial awakening (yes, there’s levels) is that it’s not for the weak. If I’m keeping it real, it’s been a doozy.

 I have never felt so angry, scared, scattered, and crazy. 

At the same time, I have never felt so excited, joyful, and peaceful.

It’s a wild paradox…if you know, you know.  

I think I’m finally at the point where it’s all starting to balance out for me. Where I can root myself back into being a human again lol. For those of you who have been there, y’all know exactly what I’m talking about. Which is why I decided to start this blog. Spiritual awakening and coming out of the matrix can be a very lonely journey. It’s like once you awaken to the truth, it’s hard to relate to people in the same way.

The conversations are so hard to get through for me nowadays. The music, movies…entertainment in general, is no longer the same for me. As brutal as this journey has been, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m very grateful for this experience. I have found my voice, something I’ve struggled with my entire life. Never in a million years would I think that I, Julie Renee would create a blog, while simultaneously writing a book about my life’s journey. 

Becoming aligned with my higher self has opened new doors for me in a way that I least expected. Since unplugging from the matrix, I have found a peace that I didn’t know existed. Now don’t get me wrong, walking away from everything requires strength in a way that is more mental than anything. I walked away from a 6 figure job, a beautiful 2 story home, luxury car and traveling at my leisure. Like I mentioned, I donated my belongings and packed enough personal belongings to fit in the car that I still had at the time. 

I headed back to my hometown that I left when I was 22 years old. 

Before settling in at my sister’s, I used my savings and spent a little over 2 weeks in Bali. It was a beautiful experience. 

No alarm clock, no obligations, no phone calls. Just me, nature, the beach and the beautiful people of Bali. 

I plan to go back some day.

For the first time since age 17, I wasn’t employed. I’ve always been a hard worker. I moved around a few times to different states to position myself to have access to better job opportunities. I didn’t go away to college after high school. I was never really interested in school and honestly barely graduated high school. It wasn’t because of issues with learning. I just was never interested. Which makes more sense now. I think I naturally rebelled against the conditioning. As early as I can remember, I was considered a problem child when it came to school. I admit, I was a handful. 

I went through a divorce at 32 and decided to go back to school. I had been with him since I was 19, so I was learning to live as an adult on my own for the first time. I talk in more detail about that in the book that I’m currently writing. I say this to say that about 5 years after my divorce, I decided to go back to school. I just wanted to find a job or career where I could live a life that I felt better about. I decided to move to Charlotte, NC. It was the best thing I could’ve done for myself. I happened to land an entry level position at a company that quickly put me on track to climb the corporate ladder. I was finally making good money, regularly using my passport. I was single with no children, so I was living the life. I upgraded my home, my car, my clothes, etc. I started dating a guy (which is how I ended up in GA) and after 4 years, we parted ways. Although it was mutual, I was heartbroken. It sent me into a healing journey of not only heartbreak but also childhood trauma that I had pushed out. 

During this time I was in solitude. I had let go of a few friendships I had about 6 months prior to the breakup. I didn’t understand at the time but something in me didn’t have a desire for those friendships anymore. I felt like I wasn’t benefiting at all from those relationships and eventually felt the same about the romantic relationship that I was in. 

I’ve never really had a bunch of friends. I’ve always been sort of a loner my entire life. My two sisters were my best friends for the majority of my life. But even that has changed since my awakening. 

People typically love me and want to befriend me but I’m very particular about who I let in my inner circle. I didn’t know the name for it until 2020. But I’m an empath, so I feel energy and emotions of others very deeply. I’m a nurturer, so I tend to over extend myself to help others. For a while I was okay with this because it feels good to me to help others. Then suddenly one day I wanted out. I didn’t want to be in those types of friendships anymore where I was giving so much and not having enough to pour into myself. 

I wanted to focus on myself. 

Going through healing inadvertently sent me into a spiritual awakening. It all started with a TikTok post I saw about Admiral Byrd. I found it so interesting, I decided to buy the book about his diary. I was so fascinated by what he discovered and others who had similar experiences. I became so hopeful after reading his book. To know that there was life other than what I knew, man it was so surreal in the best way. Then weeks later, I happened to come across Delores Cannon and that was it. I became consumed with her work and began listening to her audiobooks. During this time, I was “living the life” but I didn’t feel fulfilled at all. I was stressed from work and also the cost of living. I didn’t like my job at all, just the paycheck. 

Over several months of research and learning about the spiritual world, I started feeling like I just couldn’t go on living the life that I was living. 

I wasn’t fulfilled.

I kept thinking… there has to be more to life than this.

It suddenly didn’t feel natural to be living such a mundane life—waking up, going to work, paying bills, preparing to do it all over again. Each day, repeating like clockwork.

Why is this the norm? Why would we ever accept this?

That’s when I first had the thought about Bali. At this point I was in a really great place emotionally, mentally and physically. I had just started dating my now boyfriend and was ready for a change. I honestly felt like I had nothing to lose. 

Keeping  my six figure job and all the nice material things that came with it meant staying in the cycle of stress and an unfulfilling life. I was ready to let go of everything, if it meant really living and not just going through the motions each day. It was a scary yet exciting feeling but I just knew that I could not carry on living groundhog day for the rest of my life.

So here I am, a year later. 46 years old. Rebuilding my life from the ground up.

And I know I’m not the only one.

If you’ve ever felt this pull—the urge to step off the hamster wheel and truly live—just know that you’re not alone.

As challenging as life has been at times through this period in my life. I’m really excited to see where this new journey takes me.