From Searching to Knowing

I’ve finally gotten to the point in my journey where I’m no longer searching outside of myself for answers. I trust myself. 

It feels good being able to say that. I no longer need channeled messages from TikTok. Although I do enjoy them, they are not necessary in the way that I felt during this awakening. My journey has been a very accelerated version of awakening. I learned so much and had so many unexplainable experiences in such a short amount of time. I’m exhausted. So, I have stepped out of the spiritual bubble and am enjoying the present. I guess after getting to the point of remembering who I am. I don’t really have the need for it in the same capacity. Everything I need to know is inside of me. I feel more aligned with myself than I’ve ever experienced before. It is a feeling of calmness. 

Peace. That’s what it is.

Falling in Love with the Dark

Having the courage to go through the dark and come back into light, feels amazing. It’s not easy to face yourself. The worst parts that we keep tucked away and pretend they’re not there. Navigating life as only a portion of ourselves because we’re just too afraid to face our truth. 

Well, I decided that I am done living my life in fear. 

That decision came with more than I could’ve ever imagined. It’s not for the weak. But I would do it 100x over to get to this place of self-love. Those worst parts of me turn out to be the things that make me so unique. We have been conditioned to believe that our ‘flaws’ are negative. Society is set up to make us question ourselves about everything. Our education, job, finances, relationship status, you name it. This list goes on and on. What I realized as I was facing myself is that my ‘failed’ marriage, lack of college degree, deciding not to have children, and questionable romantic relationships are all experiences that contribute to my uniqueness. They were experiences that allowed me a different point of view in the world. 

That’s the whole point, right? Why would we all want to be cookie cutter? 

This Is Who I Am

We have been conditioned since birth to fit in. How boring is that? I love meeting and observing people who are much different than me. Especially people who live in their authenticity. Those are who I find the most interesting. 

So yeah, I’ve fallen in love with the dark parts of myself. I love myself in a way that I didn’t quite understand to this awakening journey. I love so many things about myself. I love the woman I have become. I have a lot to say, apparently. And I’m actually quite witty. Wait until you read my book. My funny side really shines through lol. 

I will be forever grateful for this part of my journey. As I know, awakening is a lifelong journey. I start a new job tomorrow. It’s been a year since I left my job. I’m so glad that I followed my gut and allowed myself to let go and flow with the universe. 

This has been the most transformational time of my life. 

I feel like a new version of myself. I’m going to do some great things in this world.

To You, the One in the Shadows…

To those of you who are in the midst of facing your shadows. You already know that it gets rough at times. It’s sometimes lonely.  But just know that you will make it through just fine. Being brave enough to even be facing it at all, confirms that you are powerful enough to conquer yourself. 

Be patient with yourself. Give yourself grace and understanding. Most of all, show yourself compassion. 

Be there for yourself, just as you would for a loved one. You got this. Trust me, it’s worth it.